Isolation vs. Connection

It’s all a puzzle

If you have read many of my former posts, you are already well aware that I am firm in my belief that when people come into my office, those with good support systems tend to fare better. Which is a not-so-roundabout way of stating that we all need one another. Some of us are more introverted, preferring a smaller social circle, while others cannot get enough of meeting new people and being in crowds.
Generally speaking, I would guess the introverts are faring better with the isolation that comes for many of us with this pandemic. But no one is unscathed. After all, the most introverted among us simply have a smaller circle; introversion is not an indication of wanting to be with no one. It is my guess that even total hermits need some outside contact, if only to have someone with whom to argue.
Sitting on the coffee table in front of me is a copy of Dr. Vivek Murthy’s recent book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World. Interesting that this book was published just as the COVID-19 pandemic was unleashing its damage in this country. The best defense we have is isolation, which will help us physically and hurt us mentally. People are using social media to help offset this, but we all realize it is not enough.
I keep thinking, if we had a timeline for this it would be so much easier. Even if we knew it would go one for another year or two, it would be a known instead of an unknown. But here we are, all of us fumbling along and doing the best we can.
One of the things that has grabbed my attention is the way it has spread through nursing homes and assisted living centers. We do have one assisted living center nearby that has had zero COVID-19 cases to date, partly due to some of their staff literally living there for a little over two months so as to not bring the virus into the facility. Despite their heroics, we cannot be sure this can go on forever—though I did say “If I ever have to go into assisted living, that is where I want to be.”
Assisted living in general has been quite successful financially. I have personally resisted the concept because it appears to me they are charging higher and higher fees to put people into smaller and smaller spaces. It is meeting a big demand, though: Community. As people age (and yes, I am in that age group, though on the lower end), there are a lot of losses: friends, spouses, professional connections…and we do get tired of having to go to so much effort to make new connections. With assisted living, it is more or less built in.
Here is the rub: These places can easily become petri dishes for a pandemic. I am guessing their popularity will decline drastically as a result of COVID. I know that I, for one, am trying to figure out what my backup plan is in the event I lose my spouse and/or my health. I will definitely use my phone and social media. And I have an extremely good support system, so I will be okay. But what of the people who are struggling in that area already?
The questions are clear. The answers? It will be an adventure. That is the one and only certainty.

Shortages – Day 83

Photo Credit: Willfried Wende

The shortages we are dealing with during this pandemic are definitely interesting. They do not compare to times like World War II when rationing controlled so much. I remember a friend telling me how she and her husband were able, unlike most people, to make pan of fudge once a month because they did not have children and that left them with enough sugar rations. In this pandemic, the supplies generally exist, but supply chains have been interrupted and some things have just been in such elevated demand that the manufacturers have yet to be able to keep up.
Toilet paper: I hear that one is getting better; I can at least pass the aisle in the grocery store and see it not be completely empty. At first I was baffled, because the shortages seemed beyond what would be created by hoarders. And I was right. Turns out there are two different supply chains, one for home use and one for commercial/industrial use—you know, the kind that comes in huge rolls and shows up in restaurants, gas stations, and many workplaces. The demand for the kind for home use jumped by about 40 percent, and the suppliers weren’t prepared. Beats me why the stores didn’t just add some of the commercial quality to their stock; people were surely desperate enough to buy that.
Soup: I still have trouble getting most of the soups we like. That one baffled me till I started thinking, lots of people now have kids at home and soup is a great go-to that saves money. I was baffled because it is canned and keeps forever, but there is a limit to how much backup supply warehouses will make room for.
Sidewalk chalk: I stumbled on this when I was thinking about how kids are bored and chalking on sidewalks is one good activity. (My mother used to encourage all the neighborhood kids to draw chalk pictures on her sidewalk.) You can still find chalk, but the really good stuff is out of stock everywhere I have looked.
Jigsaw puzzles: Who knew? Suddenly now that so many people have extra time on their hands, they are buying up these puzzles. How do I know? I tried to find one, and about the first ten or so I was interested in, could not be purchased in-store or online. I felt this urge to do a jigsaw puzzle, when the last time I did that was 1995.
Quilting fabric: Long-time quilters have hit the motherlode. Suddenly we all need masks, and quilting fabric is the best thing to make them from. I thought I would make a couple masks, and it was like the jigsaw puzzles. The remaining fabrics were in very short supply.
Hand sanitizer: We all know why that keeps selling out.
Rescue dogs: My dog died in January, and I wanted a little time before picking out another one, and I do like the idea that it’s a rescue. Enough things happened that by the time we started looking it was late March. Humane societies were emptying out. Who could have predicted that one? Family after family decided that now they had the time to properly train an animal…and having pets is also good for anxiety. Which is pretty abundant these days.
It is quite a change from every other time I was looking for a pet; most of the dogs I have had in my life have been offered to me before I had a chance to start looking. One even found me by following my car down the driveway to the street. The problem back then was being able to turn down the excess offers.
Anxiety: No, that is not in short supply; that underlies everything. Don’t know about you, but I feel like I am an actor in a bad movie and I don’t know my lines or anyone else’s or what will happen next or how it will end. I do know that I have good emotional resources, and I do see this bringing out the best in a lot of people. One thing I am certain of: There is and always will be a high degree of kindness in the human race. Hopefully we can all focus on that part, to help us live with the uncertainty.